Introvert’s How-to Guide to Buying Haunted Real Estate

With low interest rates, now may be a good time to consider buying that haunted house you’ve always dreamed about. Extroverts suffering from the isolation imposed by the pandemic might be able to find built-in companionship, guaranteed to be COVID-negative. For introverts, the allure of a candlelit property on a windswept moor may prove irresistible. Regardless of your personal motivation, discovering the haunted backstory of a property may provide the buyer with an edge during price negotiations. But how does one find such a property?

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Introvert Doubles Toil and Trouble

I used to supervise a biobank that stored both research samples and samples from clinical trials. The collection included everything from extracted DNA and RNA, to all manner of liquid components derived from humans, to chunks of human tissue. The freezer farm housing this stuff consisted of liquid nitrogen tanks and freezers set to -80^oC / -112^oF. To prevent mishap, the freezer farm was on a 24 / 7 monitor. I was woken up by the alarm in the middle of the night too many times to count — once, after having left that job. In retrospect, this was probably good training for search and rescue.